To: various burning man staff lists and members of the LLC
Date: Oct 21, 2005 7:33 PM
Subject: Paybacks are hell at BMHQ
Well Folks, they are at it again... the self proclaimed Junior Staff
of Burning Man have once again taken advantage of the fact that the
majority of the Senior Staff and members of the Board are out of the
office for the week. If you remember last spring (or even if you
don't) this same group of insurgents staged a hostile take over of
BMHQ and proceeded to hold our new Administrative Manager hostage for
a day after blindfolding him and forcing him to wear a pink nightie.
This time, the board members went on their retreat just days after
hiring Logan Mirto to become part of the BMHQ staff... when will they
ever learn? You may have heard of Logan from his years spent working
with the DPW and most recently he lead the team who constructed "The
Dicky Box" on the playa in 2005.
( http://www.burningman.com /installations/05_art_grant .html#dicky )
( http://images.burningman.com /index.cgi?q_keyword=dicky )
Well, poor Logan had no idea what was in store for him when he came to
work on this day. After a group lunch, Logan was lured into the room
formerly known as the Nursery, in order to take care of some "new hire
paperwork." When he turned around however, there was no one there and
the door to the Nursery was shut and had mysteriously been changed so
the lock couldn't be opened from the inside. Imagine his surprise!
The group of malcontents laughed heartily and rubbed their full
bellies while taunting Logan by saying things like "So how does it
feel to the one in the box!?", "What, are you going to cry like a
baby?, " and "Didn't you read the fine print in your job description?"
At first Logan played along and found the situation humorous, but then
he realized that his group was serious. They were not going to let
him out until The Man Burns.. (or sometime later this same day,
whichever came first.) At this point, Logan began trying to jimmy the
lock on the door with his credit card (undoubtedly a skill he learned
during his tenure with the DPW) until he was reminded that if he broke
out of his Box, the consequences would be worse than the situation he
was in already.
It seemed ridiculous to try to reason with this group, as they had one
thing on their minds.. and that was LUNCH! Then after forming a queue
and pressing their body parts up to the windows of the heretoforafter
space known as the Logan Box, they started writing grafitti like "This
is NOT Art!", "This project is dumb" and "Dicky's Revenge" on the
windows and handing snacks to the captive. (Fortunately there was
already a small slot size opening in the Nursery window.. how
convenient?)
Once the initial interest had worn off, the group remembered that they
indeed do WORK here and dispersed to tackle a variety of special
projects which were planned for the day. Logan was heard entertaining
himself with the See and Say toy, and at some point someone took pity
on him and set up some speakers right outside the window. Tunes were
played that had the word dick(y), box, and interestingly enough,
inspersed after each and every song was "Jesse's Girl" by Rick
Springfield. Wow, Logan must really love that song and made a request
for it through his magic marker speaker box on the window. I know I
sure enjoyed listening to it over and over and over throughout the
day. Sort of makes you want to run your fingers down a chalkboard to
give your ears some relief.
Anyway, the scene wasn't violent, and Logan seemed secure and happy in
his box, sucking his thumb and resting on the couch or having in depth
conversations with a myriad of visitors, so I didn't feel the need to
call in reinforcements. The only concern was (of course) how would he
go to the bathroom? Until we realized that there are bags of diapers
in the nursery/Logan Box... problem solved!
Until several hours later, when the grouop realized that they needed
more help and were tired of carring heavy objects down the stairs and
could put Logan to good work... besides it was time for Happy Hour.
I am happy to report that Logan was let out of his Box at
approximately 4:20 pm, after having been in isolation from his new
co-workers for approximately 3 and a half hours. To celebrate his
release, his captors quickly handed him one of their signature "Johnny
on the Shot" shooters and let the Friday evening celebrations begin.
Once again, the F&*king New Guy lived through his 5th day of working
for Burning Man.
http://bohemianmasquerade.com / loganbox / loganbox .html
One can only hope that the next time the senior management decides to
leave town for a week that they will a) think of the children and b)
lock the doors to the liquor cabinet and c) maybe think twice about
hiring a new person right before leaving?
Or, maybe not.
--
~~CG~~
CameraGirl - Documentrix and burningman.com Photo Editor
CalendarGirl - Calendar Production
ComputerGeek - Technology Dept Dominatrix
AKA Heather Gallagher
cameragirl at burningman.com
www.burningman.com
www.bohemianmasquerade.com
